Just a quickie for today!
So as I get older I find myself paying more attention to politics and that drivel the “news media”. I still believe Anderson Cooper should be hung from a high tree in Times Square and left there for the birds to pick at him. But killing the tree would be a greater loss the than idiot….. So as the time comes for the U.S. to elect yet another bonehead for president, and boy I just can’t wait for the constant TV ads bashing each other… It would seem that the GOP debates look and feel more like the center ring of a WWE match than a GOP debate.
So I was watching some damn Sunday morning talk show and the main topic, as it is when we get close to the countries version of a woman’s period, was the GOP candidates.
So with all that drivel for the lead up…..
So it is said that after the last WWE match up, I mean debate, it would seem that Romney has the taken the lead this week, and next week it will be one of the other assholes, but for now it’s Romney. And his religion is now coming into play. If you didn’t know Romney is a Mormon.
Ok, so fucking what.
I say if he is Mormon, good for him. If you practice a religion that promotes multiple wives, first I think yer nuttier than a fruit bat, but hey that’s just me. One woman is more than enough.
Being Mormon might be a good thing in this day and age. I mean if you think about it Congress and the Senate have been acting like a bunch of bitches anyway! So what would better prepare you for president than multiple wives and a religion that promotes it.
Just a thought…
Roadie.Net 11.0? Really? Has it come to this?
As always, The Disclaimer! If you don’t like what I write, DON’T FU(KING READ IT!!! I know that some of you have drank the Kool-Aid and will still read this, get you knickers in a bunch and whine. “Why does he write this? My mangina hurts and I have to let EVERYONE know.”
Again this is your last chance if you have a thin skin, offend easily, or have drank the Kool-Aid as it were, STOP READING NOW! Yer comments are just going to piss me off!
As some of you know I have a tendency to ramble, spin a yarn or two. (old people speak) Or tell a story. Why all of this? Cause it’s the only way I can remember stuff. Some of it is good; some of it is bad, and some just down right funny.
In all of this you will never know what will be next, and again for those who do know me, know that I don’t lie, I don’t steal, (not like someone I know who got caught with his hand in someone else’s work box trying to get picks to sell on EBay, and was caught by the tech’s 13 yr old kid!, I think the conversation went something like this…. “Hey! What are you doing in my dad’s work box?” response….. Crickets….. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU SHOULD DO US ALL A FAVOR AND GET OFF THE ISLAND!!!!!)
I don’t lie because it’s more fun to tell the truth!
Everyone expects you to lie to him or her and most either don’t want to hear it or just can’t handle it. (Insert movie reference here…………..)
It’s been a long time since I wrote anything down and it’s nice to be asked again to do so…
So with that said here goes nothing……
A couple a months ago I was on a show called “Bomb Fest”. And yes it bombed, as far as I know it won’t be a recurring thing anymore… The acts on the show didn’t fit, partially because the promoter let his kid pick
On day two of three we were informed that we would have to stay late that night to meet up with a crew that was bringing in a set that would have to be shoe horned (another old person saying, meaning to “force fit” something) onto the stage and that no one thought it would fit. So at midnight, or there about, the crew arrives. I know the Production Manager and he’s a great guy. At some point in time he had run a FOH spot for me on Poison, so we know each other. The video guy was one of the smartest and most talented human in video I have ever met!
The problem arose when the laser guy showed!
Remember this kids, when you walk onto a stage that is not the one you work at, YOU ARE A GUEST and you should treat the venue and the hands as such! They are there to HELP you! So some of them may be dumber than a box of rocks but they help nonetheless. Most times the local will weed them out. If not DEAL WITH IT!
Back to “laser guy” if you want to call him that. I don’t take kindly to people who don’t listen and think that their sh!t don’t stink! It chaps my a$$ big time and makes me not want to do anything for you, let alone guide you through what you need to do to get your show in. Remember I was here first and will have to stay when you get back on the “land sub” to go to another town to pi$$ someone else off.
So said “laser guy” comes in full of pi$$ and vinegar. It’s not a good sign if your Production Manager comes to me saying that, “1, keep an eye on him, and 2, if you need to, you can take him out” never a good sign! I did ask if he had filed any of the paperwork that is needed to shoot lasers outdoors, response… Nope! Don’t need to….Well now I know why every one of the festival was having a nutty about the lasers and that also answered a few questions as to why I was asked to keep a close eye on this guy. So we leave them there, head back to the hotel.
The following day, biz was as usual until headliner time. So change over starts and yet we have no “laser guy”! You would think that if the whole of Production for the festival is having a nutty because of your job you might want to be around to ease the peeps, but that’s the old guy in me. 10 minutes before house lights and still no “guy”! All of his gear is still covered and NOT turned on. At some point in time during the day I was asked to make sure there was a panic button. You know the big red button that shuts down the whole system for the laser. I was told that if I saw anything that wasn’t right or a roof over shot that I was to hit the button. 7 minutes to house lights and that’s when “laser boy” decides to show. Now 7 minutes is not a long time but a lot can happen in that time, and boy did it! “Laser boy” had two meltdowns on the radio screaming about safety, smoke, and things that to this day I still can’t figure out. With 2 minutes to go “boy” pulls a guy out of the crowd, hands the guy some money, a wallet opens and out comes the blow, not only does he make a deal with the promoter, two state troopers and a small group of people standing there, but proceeds to tap a line out on his hand and turns to the group on the riser and snorts said line in front of God and everyone. Well I wasn’t having it! I throw the dealer off the riser hoping that the cops would get him, but no, that didn’t happen. And we start the show at which point “boy” has a couple more meltdowns about the smoke machines, which we had no control over, that would be the production managers thing, cause he’s the one on the stage and wanted to have control. Other than “Laser boy” the show was really good… Lasers blew, hard to be creative when you’re having a melt down, but hey that’s just me.
The show ends, and load out starts. Again “Laser boy” is nowhere to be found and his gear is still in a pile and not heading to the trailer! I take the gear to the trailer, and there was some stuff that he had that would have worked well in my little studio, but that whole honesty thing gets in the way. Now I’m really pi$$ed. Where do you get off thinking that you don’t have to load yer gear and what makes you think that someone will look out for you when you’ve done nothing but fu(k off the whole day?
Now it’s time to talk to their Production manager, explain everything that happened at FOH, to which I was told that they have been having problems with the guy all tour and that they have tried to talk to him but management won’t listen…. Strange….. So now it’s time to take this up with the tour manager, same response. But they are now trying to reach management in London to deal with this… Well as the night goes on he shows up for a brief moment and then disappears again, he didn’t even notice that all of his gear had been taken off the trailer and put in the back of a golf cart…. Dumba$$…. night is just about over and it’s time for me to load our truck, and that’s when “boy” shows back up and that’s when I walked away, this is not my battle. Oh but they made it my battle! Not only did I have the guy fired but they let me yell at him, and I mean tear this guy a new a$$…
So with all the above bullsh!t said this is what was said in so many words to the “boy”.
“As a production manager myself, you would have NEVER done that show! You’re a$$ would have been off the bus with your sh!t before the first beat was dropped! Who the fu(k do you think you are? Some fu(king rock star? What gives you the right to fu(k off till 7 minutes before the show? Do blow at the console and God knows what else… You arrogant piece of sh!t! You represent this organization and if you were working for me you’re a$$ would have been fired a long time ago as well as your company! Then I would make sure that you had the hardest time ever to find work. I will never say “you’ll never work in this business again” cause that’s just not true, but for the love of God and all things holy I would make it my life’s mission to fu(k your career up as new as you are! You fu(king rookie piece of sh!t! Now get in the fu(king golf cart and pray that they have a hotel room for you!” His response was that he didn’t do blow at the console and that he wasn’t holding, to which I said” are you sure you want to play this game and if so let me make a call to a couple of D.E.A. agents that are friends of mine and see what they have to say” Response, “I did it and I’m holding”. Amazing what happens when you call the bluff!
I have to say that getting to rip this guy a new a$$ was better than sex! I know that’s a very weird statement, but I was happy and smiling for a week! The bit(h was that he came back for more. Some people just never learn.
Now I said all this drivel to get to this point.
You represent the people you work for, you’re only good as your last show, and you may not think it but politics are perception and perception is politics, and with all the new crap out there people WILL know what you did before the show is over. And just remember that the next time you enter a venue that YOU ARE A GUEST and should act like one.
Thanks for reading and sorry if I rambled
May 16, 2011
To all of the stage hands that I have come across lately, it’s great to see that the economic down turn has routed out MOST of the bad eggs…. There are still a few that would rather do it the way THEY think is right and NOT the way it was told to them! I won’t go into details cause some of you out there have a VERY thin skin… (you know who you are, and don’t deny it). Things to remember as a stage hand… you are there to help, it is NOT a fashion show, high heels are NOT the proper footwear for working on a ramp, stage or truck! Yes they do make yer ass look great but that’s about it. Now if yer playing the part of “Little Rock Connie” then more power to you! which means that you should be in the back of the bus and not the back of the truck…. On another note, your “C” wrench dose you no good if it’s in your bag, in the car, in the union office! It should be attached to you when you get on the job….. And you in the spandex pants for load in…. if you are planning on wearing that fine, just wear a thong. or nothing at all, and you can’t get pissed off that we spend time looking at your ass. if you didn’t want us to look then why did you wear it to a place where sex is part of the creedo!!! Other than that I would like to say that I will miss you all this summer, and that for everyone of you that I have the pleasure to meet and to work with, it has been not only a pleasure but also an honor…. Be safe this summer and yes there are more eggheads on our end of things, and it would seem that you guys are getting better and we road guys are getting much dumber. God Bless you all this summer…. And I will keep writing on this page…